I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
