Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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