I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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