"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
