what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
