I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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