You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
