Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
