Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
