I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
