Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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