Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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