Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
