standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize