I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
