My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
