so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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