Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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