I bet he comes in French.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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