How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
