So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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