hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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