Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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