butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
