Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
