they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize