i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
