Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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