Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
