Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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