In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
