Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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