he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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