Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
