I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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