I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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