i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
