We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
