Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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