I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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