Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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