why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
