he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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