The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize