I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Be still, my beating vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize