Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
