I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
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Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
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he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.