my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.