I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
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He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
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You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness