So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
