awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
