The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
