dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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