Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Did I show you my penis last night?

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(817): View more from Texas

Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.

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(661): View more from California

I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it

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(443): View more from Maryland

He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.

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(330): View more from Ohio

She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?

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(224): View more from Illinois

I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.

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(806): View more from Texas

My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?

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