How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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