I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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