Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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