You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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