Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Let's paint friendship bongs
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
did i just pee glitter
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize