DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
40s are totally the cure
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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