did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
