these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
