hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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