ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
