I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We just shotgunned beers for America
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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