Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize